notes from a sub (substitute, not submarine)

      There are good and bad things about being a sub.  I like the schedule; anytime I want, and the accountability;  um, I'm sorry, I didn't know.  I like working with kids, and the ones I don't like working with are gone in fifty minutes and don't come back the next day.  I don't have to deal with parents.  I don't have to do lunch detention if I don't want to.  In fact if a kid comes in for lunch detention on my watch, I just tell him today is his lucky day and let him go.  Some days I actually know something about what they are learning that day, and can help without appearing moronic.  I like it when the kids think I am a genius because I am their sub one day in math, and the next in science.  I also show up once in a while in the library and know how to find any book. This works on the younger ones, Jr. high down.  With the older ones, the jig is up.  They know that you don't know much about trigonometry.  I like it when they see me other places and say hi.  I also don't like it that I can't go to walmart anymore without my make up on, or wearing painting clothes.  If I even try that, I run into one of the kids.     My kids don't like it, when they go off to school like any other unsuspecting child and run into their mom in the hall three hours later.  I don't like it when there is no seating chart, and I have to call roll with names like Ayshjya (Asia).  To make up for it, I write my name on the board and don't introduce myself so if they need me, they have to figure out how to pronounce my name without offending me.  My favorite thing to do, is to read their names that are written in large block letters down the spines of their binders or plastered all over their jerseys,  and then call on them by name when they raise their hands.  Or if they try to change seats, I can just ask 'David and Brandon' to please go back to their own desks.  When they ask me how I do it, I just smile and tell them (to coin a phrase from my brother John) I am freaking magic. 

Wedding Bells

     We are undergoing preparations in our family for our first wedding.  My oldest, Kristine is going to marry Brian in a couple of weeks.  This has been quite the experience for us.   luckily Kristine is used to being the first child, or should I say guinea pig.  She has been a really good sport about our inexperience.  She is also has very reasonable expectations.  During a conversation I had with her today,  I came to realize, that some of the expectations for this wedding are mine, not hers.  I guess I wish I had hind sight, and knew what is going to matter to her in ten or twenty years.  You think I would be able to think back to my own wedding and make that connection, but I haven't.  I think I have been too busy.  I think what I hope for her and Brian, is just a really nice day with a lot of good memories, and an idea of her families love and support for them.  I am really looking forward to spending time with everyone together.  Hopefully after the ceremony,  we can relax and enjoy each others company.  Kristine is not getting married in the town where she grew up.  She is getting married four hundred miles away.  I know the reason for this, is that the people that are most important to her,her family, can be there.  I am so excited for them as they start their new life together.  What a great couple of kids,  I just hope I can make it a good day for them.

I have kind of had a snake filled week.. There was a snake squished on the dirt road on the way out of our neighborhood. I didn't intentionally run over it myself, especially when it was still recognizable as a snake. I guess I was afraid some bits of it are going to stick to my tires and end up on my garage floor.

A few days ago, my daughter Karlee was heading into town when she got a frantic call from her friend who lives in the college dorms. When she got to this girls apartment, her friend was standing on her bed trying to stay away from the four foot long bull snake that had found its way into her dormroom. She called Karlee because she is a 'Wyoming girl'. She is from Utah and figured Karlee was more equiped to deal with the snake. They managed to herd the thing into a large jar and Karlee headed outside with it. She was stopped by the dorm manager, The woman took one look and Karlee with the snake and told her "I'm sorry, pets aren't allowed in the dorms. After going through the ordeal of catching the thing, Karlee could not believe it. She was dumfounded,"oh, I'm sorry" she said, and hucked the snake, jar and all out of the open window and exited the dorm.

I subbed in a science class this week and there was a python in a large glass tank in there. I am not a huge fan of snakes and the smell didn't help. I did a pretty good job just ignoring it until seventh period when the owner of the python came to class and decided she needed to drape the thing around her neck during class. I could only imagine the snake juice that was being extruded all over the desks as it slithered all over them. I told her, if it got loose, she was on her own. Thank goodness it stayed put. I did wash my hands eight times and used 6 pints of hand sanitizer.

Finally, I would like to pay tribute to our fish friends in Bedford Wyoming, who tragically lost their lives last weekend in a devastating fire. The only consolation is that it happened long enough after we stayed there, that our family can not be blamed for it. (Sorry Pearl, the sock theory just doesn't fly, or should I say float?)