I think global warming is saving my life

I was reading the Drudge report last night, and saw a report about Obama and Al Gore (what a name), collaborating to make sure that we don't parish from global warming. It sounds like we are in for a good scorching and then a drowning as the ice caps melt and cover us all with water. I read this article while tucked under my electric blanket, because it was flipping -21 degrees below zero outside and creeping in. As I finished the article and clicked back into the Drudge main page, I noticed that the next two articles were about record freezing temperatures in Colorado and also the northwest. Hmm... there seems to be a disconnect! What would these horrible cold temperatures be if we irresponsible, selfish, uncaring, fossil fuel burning, huge SUV driving people hadn't ruined our environment. WE WOULD BE FROZEN SOLID. Thank goodness for those methane belching cows. Thank goodness for large families, with large cars and large carbon foot prints. Without them, we would not have the two hour school delay like we did today because the busses he wouldn't start, we would have buss sickles, they would never start again. Do these politicians not realize that -21 below is cold, really cold. I don't get it, where is the warming they are barking about. It seems like a really hard sell to me, and to be quite frank with you, when it is double digits below outside with no end in sight, I don't care!

Starving teenage boys

This kid said the funniest thing today in one of the classes I was subbing . I was in a seventh grade science class, and the teacher was kind enough to just have us watch movies all day (this teacher is a family friend, so I get special treatment). The movie was on whiz kids who were at some national science fair thing. They took a few minutes during the film to give a little expose on some of the kids. One girl was trying to genetically alter food so that it would grow more efficiently and end world hunger. The kids in the class though this was ridiculous. I agreed with them, unaltered potatoes are the least of our worries. Another kid piped up and said "yea right, they aren't going to be able to end world hunger, I'm hungry right now". The conclusion we came to is... as long as there are teenage boys, there will never be an end to world hunger. Who says the raising a generation are idiots. NOT I.

Christmas season is well under way and we are preparing, as usual, for a riotous party. I have the eight foot inflatable yard art anchored outside the garage for all of my loving neighbors to appreciate. It even lights up at night and serves as a beacon for anyone who has lost their way. We are also very happy to have recently discovered that a local grocery store here in town is finally selling Apple Beer. So what is the big thing about Apple Beer you might ask, notice that it is capitalized. Well, Apple Beer is a Hokanson family thing. Like Pickled Beets and leaving the last piece to rot (you can cut the last piece in half and take that, but you can't take the last piece). It's like wrapping a blanket around yourself to watch television, even in the summer. It is a tradition, It's a compulsion, it's the Hokanson Family way. So here's to us, the few, the proud, the Hokansons. Raise a glass of Apple Beer, and toast the coming holidays, toast to the end of world hunger, well, maybe with all of the teenage boys our family has produced, that would counterproductive. Have a great one!